Don't be alone.

You are not alone.

No one is alone.

It is crucial to understand this. In my experience, moving forward does not happen without help. I recently had several experiences that gave me the why. The past few weeks, life in Bryce-land has been like the dreams where dream-alarm is going off and dream-Bryce wants to shut it UP but he doesn’t realize: it’s actually the REAL alarm going off1 He has to wake up first. BUT, dream-Bryce tends to be oblivious just like real Bryce, and it never occurs to dream-Bryce that the reason why the real alarm keeps dream-beeping is because I’m destroying the dream-alarm, not the real one! So I keep pressing the button, then throwing the alarm, then pounding away with my dream-hammer or dream-fists or dream-blue-punch-buggy or whatever insanity my dream provides me to destroy said alarm, growing more and more infuriated at the beeping alarm that won’t stop beeping despite the fact it’s in apparent dream-smithereens on my dream-floor.

 And then I wake up.

I calmly shut off the real alarm (the source of the beeping)

And I get on with my day.

I find a parallel in everyday life. Even in doing the best I can, I sometimes don’t see the reality behind my problems clearly. It’s not because I’m thick-skulled; it’s because I’m human. We all do it. We all get stuck in beliefs or mindsets that don’t serve us. Anybody worth their salt will admit to such.

This is the “why” for the importance of getting help. True independence, unfortunately, is an illusion. Even with maximum possible personal mastery, our brains just aren’t capable of seeing through every problem by nature of its limitations. Having others’, with their own eyes and ears and perceptions and beliefs, serves as a check on our own. They wake us up.

I experienced this firsthand several times the past few weeks. The first occurred in a call with a mentor, a man I don’t know well yet but who is perceptive and caring. Life in Bryce-land has been a miserable experience of late, full of ringing emotional and spiritual alarms telling me something’s wrong, and with me swinging about every tool in my arsenal (meditation, prayer, scriptures, church, physical touch, social connections) to shut them off without any clue as to why they’re happening in the first place. Through our conversation, I disclosed my concerns about my situation to my mentor, and he proceeded to give me feedback that cast a much different light on it. He helped me see that despite all my self-management, I was not connected to my sense of purpose and meaning, and until I focused my efforts on that, I would not succeed at correcting my course.

The second experience occurred just a few hours later as I digested a recent podcast from Justin Bailey’s Code of Character. He interviewed a former professional poker-player who spoke of his experiences learning and honing his poker playing, and how that applied to anyone seeking to improve their performance no matter the craft. The interview followed up nicely with the last conversation, providing insights into just HOW I can make some necessary behavioral changes to get what I am really wanting in life.

The third happened this weekend. I struggle with mental illness (MDD: Major Depressive Disorder) as do many people in my family. This weekend saw one of the worst episodes I’ve ever had with it. I was tempted to square my shoulders and deal with it alone...but I also knew how dangerous that temptation was given that my condition has proven deeply resistant to my own will. Through phone calls and a visit to the Behavioral Health Crisis Center in Idaho Falls, I was able to find a path forward with medications, something that I did not know quite how to obtain given the complexities of my current situation. I would not have been able to see the way forward without their compassionate insight and aid.

All of these things together illustrate how cultivating mutually beneficial relationships with people, organizations and causes can advance our own health and well-being. Without the input of my mentor, the podcast and the mental health professionals whose aid I sought, I would not have known the path forward. I would not have known to stop pounding my dream-alarm, and wake up.

My gratitude for those of you who take the time and interest to bless me and others. Your impact is immeasurable. If you have not yet, I encourage you to take the time and money necessary to invest in relationships with people who are willing to love, encourage and support you. Men and women alike need mentors, friends and loved ones who can help them see their weaknesses, challenge their inadequacies, and provide gentle guidance and support. This life is intended for us to learn, grow, and change. Other people are the first and best invitation we can receive to make it so.