The Gift of Life in the Last of Us

Zombies.

They have enthralled fears and turned literary imaginations in their graves since 1932. Featuring in prominent films and video games, zombies along with their associated tropes constitute a gory feature of modern literature.

I dislike zombies, and honestly, I run away from most zombie-related media. Much of it overplays the gore, aiming to titillate teens with scene after scene of blood and guts and little substance.

The Last of Us is different.

This video game, which came to the PlayStation 3 in 2013, features many of the familiar tropes: zombie apocalypse brought on by a brain-altering infection, the aftermath of which the main character must navigate to survive.

But unlike most zombie video games, The Last of Us delivers an unsparing look at the meaning of such an event from a personal and emotional level. It shows the devastation wrought by witnessing family, friends, and neighbors turn into mad, bloodthirsty monsters, their humanity consumed by the heedless attack of an unreasoned and amoral infection. It displays how the constant threat of death or turning results in devastating moral ambiguity in the characters and organizations forced to face it. Further, the game immerses the player in its devastated world through the depth and detail of its gameplay. One ruined city after another, one trauma after another, one collectible note and photograph after another, a dark and difficult story emerges, shot through with a single glimmering ray of hope: the girl Ellie, immune to the infectious zombie plague that has decimated humanity down to The Last of Us, and the key to main character Joel’s dubious redemption. In the modeling of its world and characters down to the last detail, The Last of Us tells its apocalyptic tale with wrenching believability.

I would not recommend this game for casual play. It’s not for the faint of heart. The horror and gore elements play key roles in its gameplay, and I don’t think I could stomach playing it myself.

But yesterday, I decided to watch another gamer’s playthrough of the game, and I found myself more deeply affected than I’d care to admit. As I watched the game unfold the collapse and near-extinction of society through its narrative and cutscenes, I contrasted what I watched with the reality of things as they really are in my life.

The depth of my gratitude in response surprised me. I felt gratitude just for being able to live and breathe and have my being. To move through life and society largely devoid of fear. To have an untinctured body: hands and mind intact, feet that run when I ask them to, emotional center full of compassion, and youth full of human potential. I deeply felt gratitude just to be PRESENT in that body, full of love for friends and family members, to honor their humanity and their stories as well as my own.

Silly though it may sound, contrasting The Last of Us and its desperate fictional world with my own life helped me to embrace the gift of it.